Trust! Some people have absolutely no issue with trust, unfortunately I am not one of those people. I never really thought about it or acknowledged that I struggled with trust until I was confronted about it. I always thought that I had no issues with trust and was a very upfront person but I guess no matter how young or old you are, you can still learn new things about yourself. Last year was the year I learnt more about myself than I think I ever have. While it was one of the hardest years I’ve been through and if I’m being honest I think part of me is still getting over and trying to move forward with my life even now (more on this later), I learnt something about myself that I hadn’t recognised before.
My parents separated when I was 2 years old after my dad had been cheating on my mum for a long time with my now step mum. All I remember was being sat on the toy box and being told that dad was moving out and would not be living with us anymore. I don’t really remember the years that followed except the incident when my dad thought it would be a good idea to smash one of our windows in our house. because my mum had won full custody over us children.
I believe that, that was the beginning of my trust issues. Last year I was told by my boyfriend at the time that I never opened up to him. I remember him telling me that “for the relationship to work I had to open up to him and tell him more about myself”, my feelings, thoughts and past. I really struggled with opening up, I felt like I couldn’t tell him about my past and completely open up about how I was feeling or what I was going through, I struggled to even tell him about my day at work. I know it sounds ridiculous but that’s how it was. I know now without any doubt I was with the wrong person and this might have contributed with my issues with opening up and trusting him. However I even struggle to open up to people I have just met. Im usually very quiet and reserved when I meet new people and its not until I have been around them for a long period of time will I start to be myself even though this still means I am still very careful with what I share.
After making the huge decision to leave the relationship I was in last year, I thought I had been freed from the abuse that I had received but no the situation got worse. I feel now more than ever, that I am even more wary of trusting people and opening up to them. So my question to all of you out there that will hopefully read this. Do any of you suffer from trust issues? Are there any suggestions that could help me overcome this? I’d love to hear your stories too!
thoughts24 xx
realthoughtsoutloud 
This sounds really familiar. I’ve never considered myself a distrusting person, but I keep a lot of things, secrets, thoughts etc. close to my soul. I don’t ever tell anyone everything. Two years ago, I met the most amazing girl, we dated for about a year but I could never be totally open with her. She was totally open with me about everything, the good, the bad and the ugly but I never did reciprocate. We ended up braking up two summers ago.
I’m a fairly outgoing person but I relish keeping a part of me closed of from people, and after that relationship have been working on overcoming it. I don’t know if I have any advice fo you that is worthwhile, I am far from it. But for me I’ve gotten a little better through good friends. A few close people to slowly start opening up to. At first I thought that it would be in a relationship that I would be able to come totally open person, but it would have to be the right person. I still have never met anyone like that girl from years ago, and I haven’t found the right person to open up to totally. But a few close people? I’ve split a bit.
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Thank you. I have a very close friend who I tell almost everything too but there are some things that I cant or maybe wont let myself share out loud. It’s definitely a work in progress. I’m not sure what you have been through in your life, but I think it definitely depends on what you have been through, as to how much you are willing to open up. In the past couple of days I’ve come to realise that I think my worse fear is opening up and letting someone in, to just be hurt by them in one way or another.
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